Im having one of those day. You know those days that are more introspective than out. The ones where you kinda stay in your head for the day, and just think about things... {does anyone else get like that... maybe its just me?} Ive been thinking about a lot of stuff lately, I get like this every now and then especially when I am going through change. Its not a bad thing, infact really I think its probably a good thing. Its during times like these that things start to make sense, or, something blearingly obvious to the rest of the world clicks into place in my muddled up brain, and I suddenly understand things a little clearer.
I have come to a realisation...Plans change, People change, and sometimes things just dont make sense. Maybe I'm just a little slow off the mark to come to this realisation, but I guess recently it has really stood out to me. Sometimes we are so set on something happening, or someone being in our lives forever that when something happens and the master plan gets thrown off... well we become a bit of a mess. And by we, I mean me. I like to be in control, or at least, know that I can rely on the person that is in control {It took me a while to admit it... but there it is} and recently, I have had to deal with being let down, and hurt, and things that were meant to be set in concrete, disintergrating before my very eyes. Lucky enough for me, I have been supported by some of the most amazing people {you know who you are!!} in the last few weeks, and having their support has meant that I have been able to take a step back and realise that this time, not only did things not make a lot of sense, and things that were meant to be 'forever' {whatever that means} ended... I have also changed. And Im okay with that. Its not a physical change, its more an emotional one I suppose. Though, Im not even sure that accurately describes it. Maybe its an intellectual change. I dont know. Something has just clicked. And things are feeling a bunch better than they were.
Ive decided. Its time to start believing in myself again.
I have come to a realisation...Plans change, People change, and sometimes things just dont make sense. Maybe I'm just a little slow off the mark to come to this realisation, but I guess recently it has really stood out to me. Sometimes we are so set on something happening, or someone being in our lives forever that when something happens and the master plan gets thrown off... well we become a bit of a mess. And by we, I mean me. I like to be in control, or at least, know that I can rely on the person that is in control {It took me a while to admit it... but there it is} and recently, I have had to deal with being let down, and hurt, and things that were meant to be set in concrete, disintergrating before my very eyes. Lucky enough for me, I have been supported by some of the most amazing people {you know who you are!!} in the last few weeks, and having their support has meant that I have been able to take a step back and realise that this time, not only did things not make a lot of sense, and things that were meant to be 'forever' {whatever that means} ended... I have also changed. And Im okay with that. Its not a physical change, its more an emotional one I suppose. Though, Im not even sure that accurately describes it. Maybe its an intellectual change. I dont know. Something has just clicked. And things are feeling a bunch better than they were.
Ive decided. Its time to start believing in myself again.
This post hit so close to home when I read it! I see so much of myself in you, and for that reason (though not merely that reason) I love reading your blog. I'm the worst person to give advice, but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone.
ReplyDeleteYou are AMAZING! :)
ReplyDeleteI love the last line of this post and hope that you start to feel better and better really soon, whatever is going on. Sending lots of love your way!
ReplyDeleteI also hope you feel better soon as well. I am glad you are going to start believing in yourself again, its such a hard thing to do when not so nice things have happened :(
ReplyDeletei know what you mean girl!
ReplyDelete& your amazing!
i couldn't love this post anymore!!!
ReplyDeleteSO EFFING AWESOME!!!
you are just the best!!
definitely time to start believing in yourself... your fabulous marvelous powerful self!
Heads-up Tillie, you are the master of your own destiny. ox
ReplyDeletethis was good to read, and i'm glad you feel like you are handling the change - but i totally understand the disappointment of when things change. it's hard to understand sometimes but i like your outlook =)
ReplyDeleteI have felt like you... and you should believe in yourself and then everything will be ok.
ReplyDeletecheer up! have a lovely week!
xxx
That last line sums it up perfectly! I think you're a pretty amazing woman and you should most definitely believe in yourself!
ReplyDeleteBig hugs to you lady!
ReplyDeleteNever stop believing in yourself
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